Welcome Back To Blackboard Collaborate University!

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By Kaleigh Werner, EIC Lifestyle

Disclaimer: this article is satire and by no means intended to offend any student or individual.

Get out your Macbook Pros kids, and turn on those cameras because school is back in session! Only this time, there’s no need for backpacks because class is on the screen in front us. Yes, you’re all right, there is no need for getting out of bed anymore—our dreams have all come true.

Usually, around this time, we all walk the streets of campus frantically finishing the reading assignments we ignored the night before. Anxious, tired, full of caffeine, and maybe a little hungover (for those of age), we run to our 9:35 class eager for it to end as soon as we get there. Oh, those were the days.

So long to the normal professor-student interactions.

The subtle shake of the head in your direction as you finally lift your head up after looking at your phone between your legs for thirty minutes. Gone.

Sneaking in late to the back of the lecture while making eye contact with the TA at the front of the room. Gone.

Racing the other students to be first in line to shake the professors hand after class so that they remember a good impression when you bomb the midterm. Gone.

Raising your hand to ask again what the homework for next class is, as you so obviously remove the airpod in your ear. Gone.

Now… interactions between the professor and student are bogged down to the new common phrases,

“I’m sorry is your microphone on?”

“You there?”

“Can you type in the chat?”

We’re lying down with our heads still on the pillow from waking up a minute before “class” starts. Then, there are these things called breakout rooms where we are forced to interact with silent square boxes with names on them. Oh I’m sorry, those are our classmates now. Oftentimes though, it’s all crickets because no one wants to be the first to speak in them. AWKWARD.

However, these online classes have brought freedom and confidence. No more being glued to a seat or feeling embarrassed about getting up to go to the bathroom and having to squeeze through the seven rows of students in front of you. We get to speak up on a subject or point without having to make the scene of raising your hand with all eyes on you.

Reactions to our comments during class only go as far as a few typed words in the chat or a comment back from the professor. We can stand up, stretch, do yoga, and theoretically listen in on as many classes as we want (if you have roommates or are doing classes next to friends). We get to watch the cameras slip out of our professors hands or fall down to where their video is now only a shot of their mouth or chin. You hungry during that two and a half hour class? Go make dinner and bring class with you to the kitchen!

Blackboard Collaborate University may be different than what we all know, but this change can be good. The motivation has to come from you, and that can be hard. Even so, there are ways to stay engaged and focused, like moving around in the space you’re in or finding new places to bring your class. Remember that most college students are in the same boat as us right now. We are all going through this in different ways and no one is alone during these unprecedented times.