By Alexandra Savage
I will be the first to admit that, on occasion, I have enjoyed a Peeps Marshmallow. My favorite ones are the classic yellow chicks, as seen in this picture from the official Peeps website.
In my humble opinion, the above design cannot be improved upon. They have cute little eyes, but they’re not too cute to feel bad about eating them. They’re yellow, a perfect color for Spring— there’s no need to change anything.
We got too bold. We flew too close to the sun, and the Peeps company set off a Cambrian Explosion of marshmallows. Now, every flavor on this Earth needs a Peeps equivalent. As a result, we’re seeing creations such as Party Cake, Candy Cane, and Strawberry. I’m here to put a stop to the madness by giving my thoughts on some of the more outrageous Peeps flavors. Hopefully, I can inject some sanity into this debacle.
First up, we have fruit punch. My first comment is that I don’t like how these Peeps are an angry red. But more importantly, I’m perplexed by the concept of giving a food the same flavor as a beverage. I can only assume, I hope incorrectly, that when they made the marshmallows for these Peeps, they just poured fruit punch into the batter. How else could they have turned the liquid fruit punch into the solid Peep? When I looked at the ingredients, the only indicator that something had changed from the original recipe was the addition of Red #40, Red #40 Lake, and Red #3. What does that even mean? Why is Red #40 different from Red #40 Lake? After doing some research, the difference is the latter has aluminum hydroxide, according to the FDA. I don’t understand what that means, and I also don’t care. I’ll still eat Peeps regardless of what’s inside them. Unless they’re Fruit Punch flavored. Not my thing.
Full disclosure, I’ve never had Dr. Pepper, so I don’t have much to say about this. I guess if you love Dr. Pepper, these should be good, but if you hate Dr. Pepper, then don’t bother. I do think the dark red color is better than the quasi-neon salmon color of Fruit Punch Peeps, but again, I don’t understand how they combined the soda with the marshmallow. I think the only way to eat these Peeps is with a glass of Dr. Pepper to fully immerse yourself in the flavor.
First, I need to apologize for being a Negative Nancy. A Debbie Downer, if you will. But I’m just going to say it: I do not think these would taste very good at all. The sour flavor combined with the squishiness of the marshmallow doesn’t sound pleasing to me. I will give credit where credit is due. I like how the eyes of the Peeps look like watermelon seeds. It’s a little weird that they used both a cartoon watermelon and an actual watermelon on the packaging instead of sticking to one style, but I’m not a graphic designer. These are some weird Peeps, and I will not be engaging any further.
Luckily, they sell these Peeps at the CVS on campus, so I managed to buy a box. Here are my thoughts before eating the Peeps:
I can’t handle any kind of spicy food, so I’m scared about trying these Peeps. They even put flames on the box. However, I am committed to experiencing the Hot Tamale Peep, so I’m going through with it.
My thoughts after eating the Peep:
I survived. I made it through. They put cinnamon flavor on the sugar coat, but not the internal marshmallow, which didn’t taste like anything. I suppose no flavor is better than a terrible flavor. Still a very strange idea.
